Joy Takes Time

This morning Emma wanted to ride her bike to school.  I told her okay, but I groaned a little inside.  It would take longer and it's hot out there.  Couldn't we just take the car?  When lunch was taking a little longer I was hopeful that the bike ride was out.  Nope, we still had plenty of time.

We pulled our bikes out of the garage and headed up the road to school.  It wasn't as hot as I'd thought.  It was exhilarating to race down an incline with my little girl next to me.  We stopped at corners and checked for cars.  Emma chattered on about how good she was at riding a bike and how sometime I would let her ride her bike to school alone.  Hmmmmm.  I don't think so.

When we got to the school I showed her where to put her bike and then I gave her hug and told her good-bye.  I wanted to watch her go inside so I stood next to my bike watching.  She turned around and waved and then walked backwards waving the whole time.  Just as she was getting to the door she started running back to me.  Did she need another hug?  Finally I heard her shout, "Just go, Mom!"  Oh, I guess it was time for me to leave and let her walk into school by herself.

I didn't want to ride bikes today.  I wanted to quickly take Emma to school and run my errands.  It was much more efficient that way.  However, today I discovered again that joy is rarely experienced while being efficient.  Joy comes unexpectedly and it's usually when I slow down and do something that takes a little more time.  It was nice being out in the sunshine with my girl.  It felt good to move my body and feel the wind on my face.  I felt a lift in my heart and I probably would have broken into song if my life was a musical.  Yes, joy takes time, but it's worth every extra minute.

The Happiest Day of Our Lives

August 11-16, 2014
Dear Family,

Cute Kindergarten Girl

Monday night Harold placed his hands on the heads of each of our children and gave them blessings. Each year we follow this same ritual. Serene faces, bowed heads, each child, youngest to oldest, waiting for their turn under the gentle touch of their father's hands. I don't know that any of them will remember what was said, but I think they'll remember the comfort of that blessing before they start this scary new school year in a new school.


I've been to some of the most sacred places on earth. I've stood atop Mt Sinai and watched the sun rise. I've spent quiet moments in the Garden of Gethsemene and the Garden Tomb. I've walked in a quiet grove where a young boy saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. But that night my home was as sacred a place as I have ever been. Sometimes it's hard to feel like this new house is home, but that night as we sat together and listened to these blessings it felt like home. We are beginning to make memories here. We are beginning to create space for the sacred here and it feels like we are home.

One afternoon, Emma and I were peeling and cutting peaches so we could make some hand pies for the kids after school. She stood next to me on a little stool cutting the peaches I'd peeled. “We're having the happiest day of our lives!” she exclaimed. It was true. It was the happiest day of our lives. This summer has not been Emma friendly. I've been so busy and preoccupied with moving that I haven't spent a lot of time with her. It was sweet to have the afternoon together, just the two of us.

The next day she was so excited and nervous about going to school. She had her outfit picked out and knew just how she wanted me to do her hair, two braids. When I took a picture of her in front of the house she asked if she could take one of me too. I did one happy and one sad. The true picture was the sad one. I thought I was going to be okay, but when I took her into the classroom I started to tear up. I nearly ran to the car so I wouldn't start blubbering in front of anyone. It's silly, I know, but it marks the end of such a beautiful, important part of my mothering life. I know good things lie ahead of me, opportunities I haven't had before, but it is another good bye, another ending for me and it hurt my heart. I suppose I should just relish these afternoons to myself and I'm sure I'll come to love them. But, for now I need to mourn a little that my babies have all moved on. The next day when I dropped her off she didn't want me to go into the school with her. I sat in the car and watched her walk to the door. She turned around and waved and blew kisses and then she was gone. Oh my, how can I bear it? I'm so grateful for this little girl. I'm so glad God let me have her. She is a blessing in my life.