Day 28: Careful and Troubled

Tonight I have nothing to offer.  I have no inspiring thoughts about having a Christ centered home.  No loveliness, no hopefulness, just fatigue and weariness.  It's what comes of trying to do too much.  They were all good things, just too much today.

Tonight as I look back it's as if I can hear the Savior whispering "Kimberli, Kimberli, thou are careful and troubled about many things; but one thing is needful: (choose) that good part which shall not be taken away from (you)."

I do feel careful and troubled, "cumbered about much serving."  I relate to Martha, wanting to serve those she loved, but getting lost in the task.  Some days the tasks are the most important thing to me.  I push those I love away because I have so much to do.  If they would just get out of the way I could really accomplish something.

Today I chose things that can be taken away.  Dishes, laundry, cooking, meetings, all those things are temporary - although sometimes they seem like one eternal round - relationships, keeping my eye on Christ, gratitude, those are the good things, the things that won't be taken away.

I don't think the Savior was chiding Martha for what she was doing.  She was doing good things.  She was serving, nurturing and caring.  I think he was revealing her heart in that moment.  I think, like me, she lost sight of why she was doing it.  I think she was resentful instead of grateful.  I think the Lord's remarks to her were full of love.  I sense great love from the Lord for Martha and for me.  I know He loves me and understands my desires to do good.  But he knows what is eternal and what is temporary.  He knows that if I will turn to Him I will find rest amidst all that I have to do.  He knows that if I will give up my own will and seek His that I will accomplish more than I can imagine, without the fatigue and frustration.

Tomorrow is a new day and a chance to begin again.  Tomorrow I will live differently.  I'll be more present, I'll not worry about what I have no control over, I'll look into the eyes of my children and really listen.  I'll fill my mind with gratitude and I'll turn my heart to Him.